It has been a long road; paved with lack of sleep, double meals and a lack of possession over my own body. Since August 2012 I have been attached to Iza physically in one way or another – in the womb or on my breast. I need a break, and be able to be alone for a change. So, we made the decision to wean.
We came here for two reasons:
- To be able to have time together and be parents
- To be able to work without distractions
Kurt and I just realized this morning that we are both depressed and a little “vegetable-like” being here. Depressed? What the F?! We are in Paradise!
But the truth of the matter is, we are able to spend lots more time together and are definitely more engaged parents, but we made a mistake with removing ourselves from distraction. In truth, we love distractions of the right kind – people on the street, sirens from ambulances, music, subway, etc. and stimulation with friends, arts and culture. We miss all of that, and are simply lost without it.
Walking down a NYC street, we see both material and cultural aspirational elements we strive for. Kurt’s name on the program of the Whitney, my name on the next new food concept, etc., a great meal out, a vintage pair of boots, Starbucks, etc. We see possibility to be able to rise from our place on the food chain and are reminded daily of how hard we need to work to even move up a notch. So we work harder, push more and never stop for even a second to breathe. NOTE: we also left NYC for these reasons.
Here we wake up everyday and it is beautiful, and pristine, and calm. “Tranquilo” is everyone’s favorite word… and it truly is. But, I suppose putting two energetic, manic artists essentially on an Island, away from everything tangible in the world, and making everyday Groundhog Day, is like putting three wild horses in the same cage (Iza is here by proximity). Now take away the internet and our lifeline to civilization. Just imagine our state of mind: a far cry from working.
In the back of our minds we know just how truly lucky we are to be here and that life is our practice. We are going through the depression as a way of letting go, breaking down the barriers and putting us in a strong position to move forward, when we are ready to. The beauty of this place is that time is on our side.