Getting Grounded at the Ithaca Zen Center

There are times in my life where I am happily lost in a sea of logistics and transition. This is not one of those times. I am coming off of 2 months of non-stop work and stress with a research project and a large work project mixed with travel, family pressures and generally being a mother; enough to throw anyone off balance. But my reactions are getting worse and worse. I had a total meltdown yesterday, about a million things… the two big ticket items were work and Bells Palsy. Neither surprising, but at the root I would assume moving is probably the biggest stresser. We are homeless, in flux and transitioning into the unknown. It’s scary.

Kurt is a Zen Buddhist and has spent the greater part of 15 years studying and mastering the art of letting go. In many ways his practice provides a vehicle to disconnect from the crap life throws at him and remember why we are all here: to live. We are in Ithaca for a week for a silent retreat he goes to twice a year. He allows himself 2 weeks a year to unwind. Why can’t I allow myself the same?

So, we are here in Ithaca and enjoying the solitude while Kurt gets sane and I meltdown. I suppose it is my process, just like his process is to meditate and let go I need to erupt and then cool down.

The birds are chirping in the early morning and last night the frogs were at it “ribbiting” all night. There is little else heard and it is really beyond peaceful, it is Zen. It is giving me a chance to face where I am and acknowledge the present moment. It is hard for me to let go. I fight it even though I know I need to. I know I have to make a lot of changes over the next few months (years, etc.), but today I feel resolved with my present state. I am where I am.

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