Beyond Gender

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_empty_space][vc_column_text]Agender – I am fascinated by the constructs of gender. What makes us think that we have to be defined by one or the other? Isn’t it terribly antiquated to make things so black and white and not consider gray? I am as straight-laced and white as they come, but I still believe in a spectrum for all things. There are extremes in all cases, but most of us live somewhere on the spectrum as far as gender, race, sexual preference, mental disorder, culture, religion and career are concerned.

The concept of neutrality is a beautiful one and I applaud Selfridges for taking on a challenge to illustrate a very physical and iconic element in gender; clothing. Cross dressing has always been a tremendously controversial act and can only be used if an opposite gender wears the opposites clothing. Make no mistake about this one – this is a new dress code focused on blending of form and expert trickery for all. Call it Unisex or call it neutral, but this is going to force a tremendous change in perception.

As a young girl, I had a transgender girlfriend Jen who played on my soccer team. While this ‘girl’ may have had a girl name and hung out with the girls and played on the girls team, she looked just like a boy and played soccer better than all the boys and she was fun and evolved. She didn’t hang onto stupid girl stuff and gossip, she wanted to actually have conversations. As a 6th grader I suppose transgender wasn’t a term I knew yet, but I knew then that Jen wasn’t just a girl… she was so much more. Throughout the remaining parts of schooling the memory of Jen never left my mind – although we had moved away and lost touch.

In College I focused extensively on transgender after having a wonderful literature class on the subject (leave it to art school to continue the expansion) and the learning didn’t stop in the classroom living in Baltimore. Much of the neighborhoods I would pass on my way home from school to Charles Village fell near the brink of North Ave; the historic avenue where non-gender specific or transgender prostitutes would stand on the corner and flag down the passerby. Johns Hopkins School of Medicine did the first transgender operations in 1965 and gave people a chance to voice their inner-selves in an outward change.[/vc_column_text][vc_empty_space height=”20px”][vcex_feature_box style=”left-image-right-content” image=”4038″ img_width=”9999″ img_height=”9999″]Over the last year I have noticed an increasingly vivid narrative on transgender and gender neutrality. It has filled the airwaves, my inbox and newspapers with brilliantly colorful essays on everything from models to CEO’s to children. What I have learned is that most people really believe that beauty stems from the voice, not the vessel. That the way of the future is limitless opportunity and that labeling is a thing of the past.[/vcex_feature_box][vc_empty_space height=”20px”][vc_column_text]We have learned to evolve with race (well most of us educated folks have), why not evolve with gender? Doesn’t telling your daughter that she is a girl and shouldn’t play with trucks put a damper on her development and opportunity to strive to her best place? Doesn’t taking away a doll from a boy and telling him he shouldn’t paint his toe nails or dance ballet force him to leave behind a more evolved sense of knowledge? What seems to be stemming out of the media is not girl or boy, but this idea of an it. All things instead of one thing. We are no longer pinning down and defining either or, we are stating that he/she is actually a we.[/vc_column_text][vcex_spacing][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]This spring Selfridges in London is “sweeping aside the boundaries of gender” with their new campaign, Agender. This exploration leaves behind the traditional gender stereotyping and offers a chance to build on some of the more poignant headlines over the last year:

[/vc_column_text][vc_empty_space][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][vc_empty_space][vc_single_image image=”4040″ alignment=”none”][vc_empty_space][vc_column_text]About Selfridges Agender Shop (taken from their site)

Launching in mid-March, a concept space created by designer Faye Toogood will span three floors of our Oxford Street store, offering customers a gender neutral shopping experience complete with non-gender specific collections of clothing and accessories.

Among the unisex lines on offer – many exclusive to Selfridges in the U.K. – will be a capsule collection by Bodymap, the U.K. launch of Nicola Formichetti’s collection Nicopanda, a collection from footwear label Underground and Rad Hourani’s made-to-order couture designs.

Designs by labels including Ann Demeulemeester, Comme des Garçons, Meadham Kirchoff and Gareth Pugh will also feature in the lineup.[/vc_column_text][vc_empty_space][vcex_image_grid columns=”3″ thumbnail_link=”none” img_width=”9999″ img_height=”9999″ image_ids=”4033,4034,4035,4036,4037,4039″][/vc_column][/vc_row]

Story of Us: Throwback: Over the Internet…

It was such a great coincidence. An email came to me from my friend Ryann Levo (one of my Ithacan transplants from Bmore) who found online that this guy went to MICA and was a Raw Food chef in Ithaca. How cool! After a quick Google search on his name (with little that came up), I jumped on the opportunity to reach out and connect. The phone rang into voicemail, so I composed an email to cover all my bases.

I called the next morning at 7am and Rache picked up immediately. From the email, it looked like a great opportunity to get to know someone in a small town who seemed like she had a great business sense and was extremely involved in the healthy food movement. I was definitely itching for a bigger opportunity with Kurt’s Cuisine and this looked promising to collaborate with an expert.

We chatted briefly and connected about getting together at a later date…and Friday seemed liked the day. Both of us were excited, motivated and opportunistic… but neither had any expectation of a romantic interest or anything beyond business: Rache fresh off a breakup and Kurt still reeling from a 2-year Zen stint, completely focused on building a business.

And the rest is history.

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) When Missing Snow

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]Not sure this is even possible, but I have the same issue from an opposite cause. I miss snow so much that I think it is giving me my own version of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)! I miss the wet, cold crystals hitting my nose when I am all bundled up, and the feeling you get when you walk into a warm house and everything cold tingles as it warms up and comes back to life. I love the white blankets across the world, remaining untouched in the early morning hours. I miss snow angels and snowballs and sledding. Most of all I miss the winter fashion; my gorgeous coats and fabulous boots, and Iza’s adorable snowsuit.

I have realized that when you grow up somewhere you can’t let go of where you came from. It is the rhythm of the seasons and the smells that bring you nostalgia and a sense of home. Home for me and Kurt might just be a temporary mindset… it where we are for the moment, but real home is where we are from and something neither of us can recreate. Oddly if we look at our past and the places we have lived both of us call Ohio and Baltimore home. The two longest places each of us lived in our youth and young adulthood.

For a sure snow, Rochester, NY is the place to go. My grandparents lived in Rochester and every winter we would homage to Rochester. And every winter there was snow… no matter when we went. It was always a sure thing to find snow on the tip of your nose from December – March. Thinking of those moments feels magical and familiar.

But I suppose Baltimore is where I had the best snow experiences because I loved that it was my house and my life that got snowed in. Always worrying about our roof caving in. The inability to get our Land Rover out of our garage because it is really ill equip to manage real life but somehow can climb a mountain and then lean horizontally at a 45º angle. The rude neighbor that didn’t shovel the sidewalk on purpose, or us who forgot 1 time out of 1,000 and got a ticket. The parties at each other’s house – Charles Baker’s ‘Mid-Winter Bleak Party’ or the progressive dinners to get people moving. I remember getting stuck in a Uhaul when moving out of our apartment in Spinnaker Bay in the middle of the road, blocking traffic. Baltimore under snow is like a world disaster, no one knows what to do and the city shuts down. I remember 1 week in the spring of 2003… I was just finishing up my senior year at MICA, I had lived in my house for nearly a year and there was a tremendous snow storm which shut the city down for a week. Aside from the power being out almost everywhere, it was insanely beautiful. In only a day or two the 4′ snow drifts crusted over and you could walk on top of them wherever you wanted to go. No cars could drive, etc. It was a spectacular sight, moment and memory.

Last year in NYC we had the pleasure of two cars on a city block in Central and then East Harlem in the middle of one of the worst snow seasons. It was impossible to get anywhere even walking and our cars where plowed in every time it snowed. We were hit pretty hard by a plow on one occurrence creating a massive dent in the passenger door that made it nearly impossible to open. Our favorite moments were when little pockets of shoveled out spots were made available and you could just sneak right into a beautiful little buffer. My least favorite moments were the 3 times I got stuck in snow banks and the flat tire I got in the middle of a major highway. We loved walking with Iza through the parks… a kid that simply never gets cold. She loved sticking her tongue out and catching the white crystals. We have so many great memories of her hot little body pressed up in her Boba against us, sweaty as all get-up when we removed her person from ours. So cuddly and cute.

Last year in NYC we had the pleasure of two cars on a city block in Central and then East Harlem in the middle of one of the worst snow seasons. It was impossible to get anywhere even walking and our cars where plowed in every time it snowed. We were hit pretty hard by a plow on one occurrence creating a massive dent in the passenger door that made it nearly impossible to open. Our favorite moments were when little pockets of shoveled out spots were made available and you could just sneak right into a beautiful little buffer. My least favorite moments were the 3 times I got stuck in snow banks and the flat tire I got in the middle of a major highway. We loved walking with Iza through the parks… a kid that simply never gets cold. She loved sticking her tongue out and catching the white crystals. We have so many great memories of her hot little body pressed up in her Boba against us, sweaty as all get-up when we removed her person from ours. So cuddly and cute.

Every day I talk to my colleagues who span the East Coast and while I am grateful in some ways to not have to brave the cold for every second of every day (especially with my Bells, which worsens in the cold), but the crisp, fresh air and the soft little flakes of white are missed. A LOT. It makes me nostalgic, homesick and SAD.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column width=”1/1″][vc_empty_space height=”32px”][vcex_image_grid grid_style=”default” columns=”4″ title_type=”title” thumbnail_link=”none” lightbox_caption=”true” custom_links_target=”_self” img_width=”500″ img_height=”600″ image_ids=”3749,3750,3751,3753″][vcex_image_grid grid_style=”default” columns=”4″ title_type=”title” thumbnail_link=”none” lightbox_caption=”true” custom_links_target=”_self” img_width=”400″ img_height=”300″ image_ids=”3746,3747,3748,3754″][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column width=”1/1″][vc_column_text]

The Truth

It possible to get ‘SAD’ over missing something seasonal? No. Not that I have read at least. Homesick can be a mental illness, which makes me believe that the concept of ‘missing’ or ‘nostalgia’ is a form of a mental hardship too. In this sense of nostalgia I look at it as holding onto the past so tightly that it is almost like hoarding physical objects. You feel sick to your stomach to let the memory go.

I am joking when I say I have SAD of course, but researching the concept was enlightening and contrary to popular belief about home. I truly believe that home is beyond where the heart is; it is history, family, experiences and memories that can only be repeated at the source.

The featured image photo is by Brandon Remler from his sight, “Thoughts from my Camera.”[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]