Going Back to Basics

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Time to Get Back to Basics

It’s been a lifetime… Well, actually, it’s been 3-years since I have really mustered the courage to change my pattern.

Kurt and I made a decision to go back to basics. It’s amazing how far off track we’ve gotten and it is time for a change. Kurt and I started Ra’Co in 2012 – can you believe it? It’s been nearly 7 years since we wrote our first post.

 

Who Are We?

We are both wildly ambitious with our own careers – and we like to work a lot. But in the last year, we have found ourselves truly drifting apart from each other and growing independently, not together. We have also been very focused on the children, work, and personal development.

It’s been a rough November and December, re-entering into a daily pattern after having not spent any real time in the past two years together. The man I live with, have had children with and have crafted a life with have mostly communicated through WhatsApp on an as needed basis. That’s just crazy! There are so many reasons why things have gotten THIS off track, but the fundamentals don’t really matter. The point is we are getting back to our roots.[/vc_column_text][vc_empty_space height=”50px”][vc_column_text]

W H A T  W E R E  W E

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Striving For?

[/vc_column_text][vcex_spacing][vc_column_text]When we started Ra’Co the goal is still the same as it is today – to hold ourselves accountable for our actions and to create a community of online people around the world. We also wanted to do it together and to invest time in our relationship by working together. 

The community we want to create is one that gifts the next generation (our children) with a more sustainable life because let’s face it, the world is not in a good place. Ra’Co is really not that complicated – Our #1 goal is to create a constant balance in all that we do which is the baseline principle (Raw + Cooked Food = Ra’Co). 

The Moment of Change

Most of the time, there is a moment in time where you realize you have to make a change. Kurt and I both felt it individually. For me, it was the combination of two guiding statements in the last three months:

  1. Early in the fall, my wonderful friend and running partner Maria said, “Everything in life is a compromise. No matter what you do, you will always be sacrificing something.”
  2. My wise Mother said this week, “Honey, the only thing you can count on in life is change.”

They are both right. I can’t even remember what the topics were although I can imagine the 1st one was about traveling for work vs. staying home with the kids and the 2nd one was about Zai’s recent crazy outbursts.

What Happened Next?

The statements somehow snapped me back and pushed me in the direction towards my internal self. I have spent the last three years, the total time of Zai’s life, reaching outside of myself and my family into the world. I spent endless hours having parties, events and supporting Kurt’s art career. I tried a million new kinds of projects. I took a ton of risks. I failed a lot – and in the end, I was searching for something I did not find. What I realized with these two statements is that the compromise I was making was my desire to craft my own path and feeling like the hard sacrifices would seemingly disappear if I fulfilled the void with friends and fun. On the contrary, what I found is emptiness and frustration within myself.

So I find myself here: 3 days after my 38th birthday, energized, excited and reinvigorated to set my intention for 2019 inward and grow as a more complete person on my own journey, that I am controlling.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][vc_row_inner][vc_column_inner][vc_column_text]

M Y  P A T H

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Forward

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  1. Get back to writing. I realized on this break, how important writing is to me and my central self.
  2. Continue working on thoughtful communication with myself, my husband and my children.
  3. Make each month a progressive month forward – select an item and work towards changing it. This month is DRY JANUARY. See how I am going to stop drinking here.
  4. Find strength within myself through exercise and consistency.
  5. Learn a craft – in this case I want to learn how to take and edit photos. 

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Reaching Internally to Find the Balance

Something happened after Iza was conceived, and I stopped reaching out. Instead, I started to focus inward and reengage with the parts of myself which had been lost. In some ways, this was self-protection and also self-reflection on my life to date. It was simply my body and minds way of preparing for parenthood.

I used to do a lot without thinking and would be very reactive to get something off my daily list, instead of really engaging with the experience of what I was doing. I had endless expanses of time and limited accountability for what I needed to be doing and when, but I always felt rushed and didn’t have any time to consider and think things through. I was a procrastinator and also very reactive to the moment instead of the future.

What I have found in my newfound parenthood is my ability to really capture and wander in those rare moments of precious time. The lists are still there, but they are now rolling instead of daily, and my time is constantly expanding as a result. The lack of activity in the evening or morning hours, an eery quiet from the balance of the busy daytime hours is my favorite moment to snag a chance for wandering and this is the time I plan for and give myself to just enjoy.

Something had to give in the midst of all this change and evolution and as a result, I have stopped really reaching out. My wonderful friends from College and London recently united in DC and called me on St. Patty’s Day and me, got a fabulously fun and energetic phone message from the two of them partying it up together. I smiled from ear to ear, but then felt a little sad. I miss the old me some days – the energetic sparkler of personality and zest…. the absolute opposite of a nester. But then I force myself to remember that right now at this moment I am giving myself permission to figure out how to be both the sparkler and the nester. It takes time to perfect and I need to be true to giving time to each stage.

A balance of life ultimately. Right now I am searching for my inner-balance to be true to each moment. After I will get to apply that to the outside world. It is all evolution.