Going Back to Basics

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Time to Get Back to Basics

It’s been a lifetime… Well, actually, it’s been 3-years since I have really mustered the courage to change my pattern.

Kurt and I made a decision to go back to basics. It’s amazing how far off track we’ve gotten and it is time for a change. Kurt and I started Ra’Co in 2012 – can you believe it? It’s been nearly 7 years since we wrote our first post.

 

Who Are We?

We are both wildly ambitious with our own careers – and we like to work a lot. But in the last year, we have found ourselves truly drifting apart from each other and growing independently, not together. We have also been very focused on the children, work, and personal development.

It’s been a rough November and December, re-entering into a daily pattern after having not spent any real time in the past two years together. The man I live with, have had children with and have crafted a life with have mostly communicated through WhatsApp on an as needed basis. That’s just crazy! There are so many reasons why things have gotten THIS off track, but the fundamentals don’t really matter. The point is we are getting back to our roots.[/vc_column_text][vc_empty_space height=”50px”][vc_column_text]

W H A T  W E R E  W E

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Striving For?

[/vc_column_text][vcex_spacing][vc_column_text]When we started Ra’Co the goal is still the same as it is today – to hold ourselves accountable for our actions and to create a community of online people around the world. We also wanted to do it together and to invest time in our relationship by working together. 

The community we want to create is one that gifts the next generation (our children) with a more sustainable life because let’s face it, the world is not in a good place. Ra’Co is really not that complicated – Our #1 goal is to create a constant balance in all that we do which is the baseline principle (Raw + Cooked Food = Ra’Co). 

The Moment of Change

Most of the time, there is a moment in time where you realize you have to make a change. Kurt and I both felt it individually. For me, it was the combination of two guiding statements in the last three months:

  1. Early in the fall, my wonderful friend and running partner Maria said, “Everything in life is a compromise. No matter what you do, you will always be sacrificing something.”
  2. My wise Mother said this week, “Honey, the only thing you can count on in life is change.”

They are both right. I can’t even remember what the topics were although I can imagine the 1st one was about traveling for work vs. staying home with the kids and the 2nd one was about Zai’s recent crazy outbursts.

What Happened Next?

The statements somehow snapped me back and pushed me in the direction towards my internal self. I have spent the last three years, the total time of Zai’s life, reaching outside of myself and my family into the world. I spent endless hours having parties, events and supporting Kurt’s art career. I tried a million new kinds of projects. I took a ton of risks. I failed a lot – and in the end, I was searching for something I did not find. What I realized with these two statements is that the compromise I was making was my desire to craft my own path and feeling like the hard sacrifices would seemingly disappear if I fulfilled the void with friends and fun. On the contrary, what I found is emptiness and frustration within myself.

So I find myself here: 3 days after my 38th birthday, energized, excited and reinvigorated to set my intention for 2019 inward and grow as a more complete person on my own journey, that I am controlling.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][vc_row_inner][vc_column_inner][vc_column_text]

M Y  P A T H

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Forward

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  1. Get back to writing. I realized on this break, how important writing is to me and my central self.
  2. Continue working on thoughtful communication with myself, my husband and my children.
  3. Make each month a progressive month forward – select an item and work towards changing it. This month is DRY JANUARY. See how I am going to stop drinking here.
  4. Find strength within myself through exercise and consistency.
  5. Learn a craft – in this case I want to learn how to take and edit photos. 

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Balancing Act of Work and Life

RaCo Life Kurt Playing Guitar for Iza

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RaCo Life Kurt Playing Guitar for Iza

A work life balance has been lost in today’s society, but it can be found with few basic maneuvers. Kurt and I both work in our fields of choice; he as a conceptual artist and me as a restaurant designer. Neither job is simple or straight forward… both require intense schedules, time and dedication. We have worked hard to orchestrate a schedule which permits meditation, yoga, family meals and play time with our kids by doing less work and more life, and trading responsibilities. We also make time for each other which makes us happier. We don’t always make it work on the first try, but we always adjust as needed.

Balancing is a challenge no matter which way you look at it because there is always going to be a sacrifice. If you can look at the sacrifices as opportunities instead of losses, you will always remain satisfied.

RaCo Life Gray Line

Here’s our balancing act*:

RaCo Life Balance List

1. Work less
Sweden just went to a 6 hour work week to increase productivity. Studies have shown the more downtime you have, the more productive you are during work hours. Streamline.

2. Sleep more
Sometimes hard with a toddler and a newborn, we make a point to be on a bedtime schedule and get out of bed after we are fully rested. We say goodbye to our list to do for the day.

3. Eat healthy
A plant-based rounded diet with small frequent portions. Simply eat less meat and fill your plate with veggies.

4. Exercise Daily
Even if for just 20 minutes, take the time to walk in nature or just down the street.

5. Rest Your Mind
Do something fun. meditate or watch TV. Whatever it is mix it up so you get a mental break every day.

*If you work outside the home it might be harder for you to make your own schedule and work list; give it a try.

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Ra’Co Tip: Play Hard, Then Work

Play Hard and then Work your Ass Off

Its easy to lose track of the importance of living. Playing is a huge part of that experience and instead of leading with work, leading with play enables a calmness and ability to reset making work an enjoyable experience. It is typical to do it in reserve; start with work and once it is finished you should reward with play. Sadly, the weight of the American Dream is an exhausting, all-consuming experience which requires endless energy leaving very little time and opportunity for little else except rest. But the reality is that the more play you integrate with your life, the less exhausting the work will be.

Play Hard and then Work your Ass Off

Ra'Co Life Definition for

Play: Engage in activity for enjoyment and recreation rather than a serious or practical purpose.

Work: Activity involving mental or physical effort done in order to achieve a purpose or result.

 

RaCo Life Direct Experience

Iza & Rache SleepingEveryday I wake up to the sound of my daughters little pitter patter as she climbs into bed with me. I snuggle and play with her for about 15 minutes before we even think about getting out of bed. I call it our “cuddle time” and it some how creates a leveling in my brain. For me it doesn’t have to be a significant amount of time of play before getting down to brass tacks, but it needs to be foundational. With Iza in my arms I get lost in the moment and forget any responsibility we have other than our time together and it creates a clarity I wouldn’t have otherwise. When the alarm goes off and we know it is time to get breakfast and get ready for school and I start my work, it feels like I have already been rewarded. I work extra hard throughout the day because I am so grateful for the 15 uninterrupted minutes with my little girl.

Ra'Co Life Related Post American Dream

Balancing Life with Work

Well, let’s start with I absolutely suck at balancing WORK and LIFE. My business is up and down, all around. Some weeks I am so busy I can’t breathe working from 3am to 9pm ignoring my daughter completely, and other days I can lounge around and answer an email here and there and play all day. The sad part is, they are almost completely equal in time to each other. So I have a balance, but maybe more of an annual balance, not a daily balance. This has made it hard to be a mother and to be consistently available, and to work towards additional career goals. I never know when I am going to have time. Planning seems impossible.

Those who are consultants will understand this statement, but feast or famine is a real thing, and it goes without saying this equates to both workload and money in our pocket. Depending on the project time period, we have to save as though we are living on a fixed income in the event that the next check is late or the project stalls, etc. It is as thought each project wraps without any intention of the next one leaving a lot open for interpretation.  In that case we are often ‘hurrying up’ to stress out about where our next meal is coming from instead of being able to plan and just know that we are in a slow period. Often I just take on any project to stay busy, feeling like the quiet moments are more scary than just not having the work. At the end of the day I know that January – April are slow, as are September and the first part of October. So, why bother getting all worked up?

I am sick of having a minor heart attack every time our bank account gets low or a project doesn’t come through. It nearly always works itself out eventually. So I have made a new vow to myself and my family to take a different path forward. I am calling it my transitional state towards freedom.

To date I have:

  • Saved and become more thrifty. No more $5 lattes or $100 Monday night dinners.
  • Stopped fighting for projects I know are going to lose or have uphill battles.
  • Created a more balanced schedule.
  • Tried to lessen my project load, focusing on making money vs. exciting projects.
  • Only taken on projects that I can complete successfully and are going to be profitable. I’m done with risk taking.

The balance is self imposed and I am the one setting the schedule and my own standards. Wow. That is pretty awesome to write on paper. Part of my journey has been watching Kurt go through it and working with him to be a balanced family. He has never been much of a ‘dive deep and make it happen’ kind of guy. He has always been balanced (as far I can tell) and maybe even teeters on giving more time to life than to his work, which maybe hasn’t been the best idea for his career. Over the last 2 years, however, now that he is in the thick of things with his projects and our passion projects, and a family to support, I have seen a fire under his ass and a desire to work ALL THE TIME. But the sad part is my happy, sweet and loving husband/father now looks miserable. So, I have seen what the stress and frustration of a job without balance will bring to a person and I see what a toll it took on myself.

I have conceded to the idea of working for another 3 years, or until we are profitable with our passion projects, so why not enjoy every moment I am still working? I want to go out with a positive note and a fabulous clink of the champagne glasses, not feel angry and frustrated about 20 years in an industry that I grew up in. And the stress does nothing for anyone.

This morning I am up and working; doing stuff that I love for both my ‘real’ job and my ‘future’ job. I am excited and motivated, but especially thrilled that at 6:00am when my funny little girl opens her door and comes teetering out into my office and says, “Mama…” I can scoop her up in my arms and have as much time as I want to play. I make my own life and schedules now, and it will all work out with the financial stuff  (or I can hope).

Procrastination: 101

I am a PROCRASTINATOR. I try to get around it by playing little tricks on myself, but it is hardly possible to overcome it. I live and die behind deadlines as a means to a way to overcome procrastination. I mean, I am not alone in this, but it is still annoying (check out this cool Zen book of practical tactics).

Here I am, 4am on a Tuesday… 6 weeks late on a project and look at me, I am still procrastinating. That’s weird. I have excuses out the ass for the delays and of course many of them are real and actual. But it is kind of crazy that I am still procrastinating. And the worst part is – I actually like what I am doing.

Seriously.

Okay, so now I am going to provide for myself (and those reading) some recommendations on what I should do to get into it.

  1. Get into a routine. If getting up early is your thing, or working late – do it consistently until your project is finished.
  2. Dangle “the carrot.” What’s that one thing that you really want, but haven’t given yourself? Make sure you don’t give it to yourself until you finish.
  3. Take breaks and be realistic. It is important to reward each stage of your project with a small break: 10-15 minutes to jump around or blow off steam with email, etc. Build in time to do the things you need to do, like playing with your 18-month old, or taking a shower.
  4. Turn off Facebook. Most of us love to hate Facebook and secretly, especially when we are procrastinating, we have a tendency to revert back to the safety zone of other people’s lives. Live in your present and turn off fucking Facebook.
  5. Lose the distractions. I have my daughter running around, staff at my house and tons of emails that alert every time they come in on my phone. I have to turn off my phone, shut all the doors, lock myself in a cave to get anything complete. Just try to be nicer than me about it, okay? I am a real bitch.

So that’s where I am for the moment. It is now 5:51am and I have still yet to do anything. Maybe I should start?

Too Many Options

I have touched on this before, but we struggle to make big decisions due to the endless options we create for ourselves. We have dabbled in visions of living in Shanghai, Dubai and London. Mustered a desire for India and the country-side of Southeast Asia. Entertained the prospects of living in northern Canada, or New Zealand (who wouldn’t want to be called a “Kiwi?”). Thought about picking tea leaves in Africa and even considered running off to Brazil to join the technology boom. It is a world of options, which is in someways the very definition of overwhelming.

But now we have decided on a 3-5 year plan in Guatemala / NYC and have suddenly gotten overwhelmed with the next level of choice. We have 3 possible options for housing in Atitlan and another 2 options in NYC, 3 longterm vacation plans and potentially even a full-time Stateside change (because we freaked out about the shipping costs); all very different experiences.

  1. ATITLAN 1 year rental with 3 months sublet; 9 months here, 3 months in NYC (1 month in the fall, 2 weeks traveling, 6 weeks in the Spring)
  2. ATITLAN 1 year+ here, no traveling
  3. ATITLAN Flexible rental here due to previously scheduled rentals in a house, traveling in-between
  4. NYC Move to NYC fulltime
  5. NYC Rent an apartment full-time in NYC and sublet as needed to make up the difference in rent
  6. WORK VACATION India and Thailand
  7. VACATION Western China
  8. WORK VACATION Sri Lanka
  9. STATESIDE Move to Miami area (still incredible art scene) and get a 1+ year rental

Map

Again with our sea of choices, which do we choose? Which will help us to flourish in our careers and life strategies? Which would be the best place for Iza to grow?

We have had trouble with renting a house, mentioned in our “Problems in Paradise? Nope, it’s just us” article, and trouble with securing a house once we found it, all due to lack of ability to finalize a plan. We simply are lost in our indecisiveness and it is taking a toll on us emotionally. In someways it is just easier to stop, back off and let the world fall into place in front of us, don’t you think?

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From the Studio….

[vc_row][vc_column width=”1/1″][vc_column_text]This week:

  • Working with pita, a nylon chord that comes in multiple colors. This series deals with an exploration of materials sourced around the lake, exploiting those materials to find new uses for them, using them to express various themes or to make a statement. Geometric abstraction is a current theme.
  • Building stretchers from wood sourced in Xela, the closest big city to the lake.
  • Efrain is kicking much ass.
  • Getting ready to stretch a large canvas to continue a series dealing with emptiness.
  • Paying homage to Jackson Pollack, Blinky Palermo, Richard Tuttle, Buddha, etc…..

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Holding on for Dear Life

At the computer 2

I have been so busy with work for the last 3 months that I have hardly had a chance to look up and see the surroundings. Sad considering we are located on the titled and celebrated “most beautiful lake in the world.” For all I knew, I could have been in a black box located in Siberia. Now, when I look in front of me I don’t see something I have invested myself into, I see a postcard of a potential future experience. But it feels unattainable to relish in the moment.

I believe many people are like me, they are just literally trying to hold on as the sea of work piles up. No matter what is going on – my daughters birthday, my mom’s wedding, my friend’s crises, I am preoccupied with something else and just going through the expected motions. I give a 1000 percent at work and the bare minimum at home. I am always tired, and always behind. I just feel like I am running on the wheel of life and my stop hasn’t come up yet.

At 33, I am in the middle of my career – a vital point which cannot be ignored; if I stop now, will I drop off the radar? Will I lose all opportunities? I hold onto fear which is a tremendous driver in this unhealthy cycle. But beyond opportunities, another primary fear is money. When will the money dry up and another recession hit? When will we need money for a rainy day? As the current bread-winner, I feel a pressure to succeed on a lot of levels.

But at what cost? Such a crappy way of non-living.

I hit a breaking point two Friday’s ago and I have just had enough of my own excuses.I want to come out from this cloud I have placed above my head and I am determined to be present in my own life again; to finally be able to enjoy time with family, friends and experience this first leg of our Brand Fam journey together. I am ready to stop, reposition and gear up to go in a new, healthier direction. (This, however, sounds good on paper, but I don’t know how to transition and to push beyond my current state.)

All comments and advice are welcome.

At the computer 3

Sick Baby, Fungus on Walls, No Gas, No Drinking Water: Awesome Morning.

I just returned home on Saturday afternoon after a full week of work, a crazy overnight of travel and a 3-hour car ride which included a funeral procession for 4.5 miles to an even bigger and more exciting weekend of issues.

For starters, when Kurt and Iza greeted me at the dock I quickly realized how bad Iza really was. She had lost about 5lbs since I left. She was pale, almost green and definitely not herself. She had a fever of 102+ and wasn’t eating anything. When we got up our trail to the house I looked around with fresh eyes…. there was this weird wall mold/fungus coming off all the walls. Kurt went to take a shower but the water was freezing, so we pretty much went right to bed to make sure we could get some sleep. In the morning I went to make tea and the stove wouldn’t turn on. The drinking water was kicked, so I just started to cry. Pretty pathetic, but I had almost hit the end of my rope – baby crying, exhausted from travel, thirsty, throat closing in… recipe for disaster.

After Iza woke we decided very quickly that she was sick enough for the Hospital. I went online to research and found a great hospital on the other side of the lake in Santiago. The number on the site listed an American number so I called it and Dr. Larry answered in Maine. He was home, but he frequents Santiago as it is a hospital he founded. So, with his advice we went.

We first went to Pana where I had an absolute meltdown and cost us an extra 2-hours in my mania. When we got to Santiago it was nearly 1pm and our Tuk Tuk driver asked us if we wanted him to wait. We said, “no” (although we should have said, “yes”). After walking up the walkway we kind of realized we were absolutely in the middle of no where. Walking up to the door it was was locked to the Emergency Room and immediately we got discouraged, but we didn’t really know what else to do, so we waited.

Shortly a nurse showed up at the door. She welcomed us and opened the door, showing us to the infirmary to Bed 3. There were 4 beds. (I am familiar with an infirmary from High School at Mercersburg. When you got sick you were sent to the infirmary where you had to be in a shared bed space which is far too similar to an army infirmary… totally depressing. You can just imagine 35 sick soldiers lined up on either side of the room. I think I went to the infirmary 2x in the 4 years I was there and 1x was to say goodbye to a friend who got kicked out for smoking pot.) Around us were a series of American-style equipment and books. Lots of tools and familiar mechanisms. I have to say… definitely a sign of relief from us both. The doctor spoke very very little English, but he had some  Tz’utujil and Kaqchikel which are Mayan languages as well as fluent Spanish. Needless to say, we made do. We had to.

It turns out, after nearly 5 seconds of testing that Iza has an ear infection. So ridiculous that this had gone on for nearly 8 days at this point. Completely unnecessary. We got medicine and we were on our way. Of course we were in the middle of no where, so we grabbed the first Chicken Bus we found and headed into town.

1 issue down… like a MILLION to go. Stay tuned.